Here's how to not spoil your kid this Christmas in three easy rules

Foolishly I used to buy every toy ever created for my child, until I learned strategy was the key to happiness

By D. Watkins

Editor at Large

Published December 22, 2023 11:30AM (EST)

Gifts under the Christmas tree (Getty Images/Ghislain & Marie David de Lossy)
Gifts under the Christmas tree (Getty Images/Ghislain & Marie David de Lossy)

Dear new parents, you have an opportunity to be better than me by not spoiling your children during the holiday season – and lucky for you, I’m going to tell you how. 

So, I’m kind of an old dad – like the person among my childhood friends that isn’t a grandparent or doesn’t have an adult offspring and yes, they make fun of this every chance they get, saying things like, “You’ll be 90 at your daughter's high school graduation!” I was 39 when my first child was born, my wife was 36, and the doctors even called her pregnancy geriatric.  

And like the geriatric parents we were, we gifted our daughter every single last toy in the world, over a dozen Barbies, with multiple Barbie accessories, American Girl dolls, the American Girl-looking doll they sell in Target, all kids of LEGOs, Mr. and Mrs. Potato Heads, a fleet of Build-A-Bears and everything else. And that’s just us. 

My daughter is one of three grandbabies or her mother side, and the youngest and only girl on mine, so yes, yes, yes – they spoil her as well, to the point where she can open her own toy store and didn’t really appreciate the value of a good loyal sturdy doll. How could she? We gave her too much, too soon.

So, my wife and I vowed to implement the rule of three. Three gifts, and that’s it. This works if you tell the kids that the gifts are coming from you, or if Santa gets the credit for the purchases you make. 

(Gifts are for well-behaved kids who listen to their parents, perform well in school and have integrity. Disrespectful children who act up in school deserve lumps of coal – and I’m not exactly sure where you’d get a lump of coal but I’m guessing Amazon.) 

01
Gift 1: The want
Gift No. 1 should always be something that's a WANT. The sports car-looking Power Wheels, the 152nd Barbie to complete the never-ending Barbie collection, the popular new talking Elmo, a puppy or anything that you can do without, is desirable and considered a want should fall into this category.
 
Be careful, because a clever child with good grades can talk you into buying two or three wants, so stay strong.
02
Gift 2: The need 

The NEED can be tricky, mainly because young people act like they need everything. There’s also a number of gifts in this category that can be categorized as fun, but if we are being honest, having fun is a need. So in shopping for needs, we want to think about things the young people can get excited about and serve a purpose – for instance, a shiny new bike. They can ride out with their friends, and you know they'll be getting exercise. Or a computer – sure they can play games and surf the web, but also have the ability to learn, research and complete home assignments. Clothes and shoes also fit well in this category, because as you probably know, children are always growing. 

03
Gift 3: Something educational
In today's competitive world, we have to make sure that our children or learning consistently. SOMETHING EDUCATIONAL is the only category where you are allowed to break the rules for multiples. So instead of buying your child one book, maybe you want to spring for three or four, and that is totally OK. Educational gifts also include games, puzzles and even musical instruments that they can explore and play with. Last year we bought my daughter a keyboard, an abacus and a globe. Yes we broke the rule because there's no such thing as too much education. 

Stick to these three categories, and I guarantee Christmas shopping for your children will become a lot easier. Happy holidays. 


By D. Watkins

D. Watkins is an Editor at Large for Salon. He is also a writer on the HBO limited series "We Own This City" and a professor at the University of Baltimore. Watkins is the author of the award-winning, New York Times best-selling memoirs “The Beast Side: Living  (and Dying) While Black in America”, "The Cook Up: A Crack Rock Memoir," "Where Tomorrows Aren't Promised: A Memoir of Survival and Hope" as well as "We Speak For Ourselves: How Woke Culture Prohibits Progress." His new books, "Black Boy Smile: A Memoir in Moments," and "The Wire: A Complete Visual History" are out now.

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